Can we be wild, living in the city?

On trying to bring wildness back to suburbia

Whenever I leave home, I never return the same person. It might be for a 30 minute walk, a half-day outing, or a month…it doesn’t matter. New environments, new people, new challenges. They change who I am. What I care about. What I pay attention to.

Sometimes it’s subtle. So subtle that I can slip back into my old skin and carry on without any noticeable friction.

But other times, it’s strange. Like coming home to someone else’s life.

That’s how it felt returning home from 3 weeks of gallivanting in the bush. When you’re out there, it’s very hard to do anything but be. No time to check emails. Or scroll social media.

There’s always something to do. And whilst that may sound intense, it was freeing. Like I was constantly being pulled into the present moment. There’s no time to relive the past or worry about the future. Calendars don’t exist in the bush. Only the Sun does.

Home was a tarp nestled between a few trees. The only soundtrack: birds and frogs. Sometimes it was peaceful and calm. Other times, chaotic and busy. But at all times, I was attuned to the rhythm of nature. And my body and mind thrived.

So coming home to my creature comforts, my busy calendar and a long list of to-do’s felt…a little yuck.

Don’t get it twisted, I love and am incredibly grateful for my life. I don’t want to wish any of it away. But the quick change of gears from bush feral to suburban girl was a shock. Overwhelm consumed me for a couple of days. I wasn’t used to waking up in a dark room. Or seeing myself in the mirror first thing. Or the hyper-availability of my phone.

I’m gradually melting back into ‘normal life’ but it’s got me thinking about what a normal life actually looks like. What have we let go of as our lives have become more detached from the land? And how close to the land can we actually live when we’re in a city?

That full body and mind presence I felt out bush… Is it possible to hold onto it for more than a moment in the city? Or does a life built around that feeling mean opting out of suburbia altogether?

Every time I leave, I come back with new sparks of inspiration and practices and perspectives that smuggle a little wildness into suburban life. But it doesn’t feel like enough.

I’m still choosing to live in the city, for now. But I’m constantly experimenting with ways to bring that feeling of wildness into my life more permanently.

Let’s see how deep and strange it gets…